Every Superpower Has a Dark Side: How One Ironman Faced His Demons

June 2022

By Matt Chavlovich, Keynote Speaker and Executive Coach

 

The very thing that makes us and others proud, that makes us different, that makes us successful, has a point where it can become the very thing that holds us back and causes our destruction. What helps us grow can also become the very thing that makes us break. At least it was for me.

In 2006 if you asked what my superpower was I would have told you endurance; staying in the game, the challenge and the fight longer and more intensely than most people would ever contemplate. That was the year I completed my very first Ironman Triathlon, a 3-sport competitive event consisting of a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike followed by a 26.2 mile marathon. Training for such a feat traditionally takes an individual 7-12 months. In 2006 it took me ten months. Nearly a year to get the mind, body and spirit to a place where it could be engaged and in motion from the time the sun comes up until after it sets.

I have always had the same two mantras or motivating statements that carry me through my endurance training.

  1. Let’s find out what you can do.
  2. Don’t let your mind limit what your body can do.

The problem is that a year of relentless training, focus and discipline to do whatever it takes to be able to remain in motion for 140.6 miles in one day, has a cost. At least it did for me the first time I went for it. I spent ten months chasing a dream of completing an Ironman and the next two plus years recovering from it. My physical body recovered in about a month, but my mental, spiritual and energetic body took over two years.

I got it wrong. So wrong. I was so blinded by my goal that I abandoned myself and my needs completely. Turns out, endurance was not only my superpower, it was my distraction. Stay in motion and in forward momentum at all costs, so as not to give myself an opportunity to stand 100% in my greatest power; to see what I truly was and still am truly capable of. I used endurance as my excuse to never be my best.

Those years of recovery were some of the longest of my life. Instead of being elated, I fell into an 18 month depression, with suicidal thoughts daily, zero energy or motivation to do anything but exist. And for a type-A, motivated high-performer, the uncomfortableness of just “existing” can be unbearable.

So after two and a half years of merely existing, I began to really explore what went wrong and I did a complete 180°; from asking myself “How hard can I go today?” to “What do I need most right now?” And that changed everything. It got me back in touch with myself, my intuition and my inner knowing, which is where my confidence, clarity and motivation began to return.

I also began to deeply evaluate what I learned and explore if any of those lessons were applicable in other areas of my life. What I discovered were five powerful lessons that, to this day, have served as my operating guide through every challenge I’ve faced. From navigating the world after a family member’s death, to becoming a new father, to being an entrepreneur, to getting through a pandemic. And I am confident they will continue to be my lighthouse in the future, at least until I get it wrong again. I share them here for any and all to benefit from.

1. Just get miles on your legs.

When you train for an endurance event, your first 40 runs are about nothing except running 40 times. The goal is simply to get miles on your legs. It’s not about running smooth or even your form; it’s about getting used to being in motion every day. Frequency over form is the goal. So often, when we begin new endeavors, we are not nearly patient enough with our performance. We struggle to be beginners and be in the learning phase. The path to mastery or any kind of growth starts with just getting miles on your legs.

2. Rest day is a training day.

Most people often think that if they are not working or training, someone else is and they are falling behind. In a sense, our bodies are one huge muscle and muscles don’t grow when they are being used or in motion. Muscle growth occurs when they are pushed to a point where microscopic tears occur and then they are allowed to rest, which gives the muscle time to rebuild bigger and stronger. Simply put, muscles only rebuild when they are resting. So in order to grow any kind of muscle, you must push hard and then rest harder.

3. Take smaller steps in the transition.

Without fail, during a triathlon, when you complete the 112 mile bike portion and expect your body to be ready to run, it is never a pretty sight. For 4-6 hours your body has been hunched over tirelessly working in one position, for one purpose. And when we want it to do something else, we often forget that it needs time to acclimate to a different motion and demand. While you can attempt to run as fluidly and powerfully as you are used to, you often will fail if you don’t allow yourself to take smaller, and at times, slower steps while in transition. Slowing and shortening your stride for simply 20 seconds is what will allow you to find your full stride much quicker.

4. Fall in love with YOUR story.

At any race, you have the opportunity to set up your equipment either the morning of or the day before, which often results in full comparison mode to the other competitors. You see all of the fancy bodies and bikes and immediately start to create stories of how you are the worst competitor here and barely belong. You see the physically challenged and convince yourself you should complain much less. You see people that are racing for causes outside of themselves and convince yourself that you’re selfish for not having one. You see competitors with multiple people cheering them on, or that know each other, and you convince yourself you are in this alone. You find 100 reasons why you are the worst in the race and an imposture and that you don’t belong. This will lead you nowhere. Have absolutely no tolerance for comparison. Everyone has a story and everyone has been on a journey to get to this day, including you. Find ways to fall in love with your story of why, what, who, and how got you here; because you and your journey matter too.

5. Have the courage to find empty.

There comes a time in every race when you don’t know if you have enough in the tank to finish. At that point you have an important decision to make. You must choose to go all-in and give everything you have without knowing if it will be enough to finish, or you can race just hard enough to make sure you do. If you have the courage to find your empty, I can’t promise that you’ll make it to the finish, but I can promise that instead of empty you will find yourself more fulfilled and clear than you have ever been.

While the path to comprehending these five lessons was painful and long, that journey served as it always does, as a learning experience. I now recognize that my suffering is no different than anyone else’s. I simply hope my experiences can provide guidance for others when and if needed, so ultimately we all can learn how to effectively grow from both our successes and failures and discover what we are truly capable of in this lifetime.

 



Matt Chavlovich runs a boutique coaching practice that focuses on helping people flourish, cultivate positive relationships, and forge their own wealth and success. Matt is a former professional athlete, Vice President, and 2x Ironman. He has spent more than 25 years studying and teaching principles of leadership and high-performance. Today he is a speaker, writer, coach, and advisor to some of the most innovative and inspiring men and women globally and many up-and-coming young leaders.