By Janine Weisenback, LMSW, JD, Soffer & Associates Comprehensive Psychological Services
With Memorial Day behind us, we are beginning to shift into a favorite season for many: summer. For the majority of us, that means activities we enjoy – beach days, bbqs, sports (either to play or watch), and, for children, camps and other structured activities. Yet, while we commonly associate the summer months with slowing down, we often fill our schedule to capacity, causing us to “speed up” instead of slow down.The result is counter-intentional: we overschedule ourselves, making summer less restorative than we wanted or expected. In short, we do not allow ourselves to get bored.
Why It’s Hard: Societal Expectations and Norms
Allowing ourselves to slow down and experience boredom is difficult, in part, because our culture idealizes and rewards productivity. The societal message we often receive is that we should be doing, or working towards, something. To do otherwise is to “waste” time, which is perceived as a wrongdoing to a degree. To “waste” time also suggests something more general of our character, perhaps giving the impression that we are lazy or unmotivated.
This societal norm to be productive often creeps into our summers. Despite the ideal of long, unstructured summer days, the summer months often become the opposite of that – especially for children and youth. Summer break becomes a time to “catch up” on skills or activities we were unable to dedicate time to in other months. Parents often jump to scheduling tutoring sessions and lessons for their children. For high school and college students, summer breaks are often filled with college preparation, academic work and test preparation or working a summer job or internship. Adults often fill their calendars with home or work projects, social events, and trips. While each of these activities and tasks have positive benefits, we run the risk of overextending ourselves if we do not allow for some time to be unoccupied – and, in short, bored.
Why We Need Boredom: The Importance of Slowing Down
There are many benefits to giving ourselves free time and, subsequently, the opportunity to be bored. These benefits include:
Enhanced creativity. Allowing yourself some unscheduled time allows your mind to wander and conceive of new ideas and solutions. For example, if you have been struggling with a challenge at work, you may find that allowing yourself free time so that your mind can wander, brings you to a workable solution you were missing. You may engage in more “outside of the box” thinking – and gain more awareness and perspective.
Restoration of the mind. Giving yourself time to be bored rather than filling in every moment with a planned activity allows for your mind to rest and reset. Unstructured time and eventual boredom can give the brain a rest.
Ironically, increased productivity. Allowing yourself to slow down and experience boredom can actually allow for more productivity, rather than less. In Stephen Covey’s classic book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change, he introduces the idea of “sharpening the saw,” in which one should ensure to take time for personal renewal to become more effective in other aspects of life. Covey explores personal renewal among four realms – the physical, spiritual, mental, and social/emotional. This idea of “sharpening the saw” can include downtime – and boredom – as being a form of mental renewal for the purpose of actually enhancing effectiveness. We can reframe downtime, and thus boredom, as a necessary ingredient for productivity,
How to Do It: Strategies to Create More Free Time and Opportunity for Boredom
Be mindful about your phone usage. As a starting point, try to notice the small moments when you find yourself getting bored and interrupt yourself if you have found that you have mindlessly reached for your phone. Put your phone away somewhere that is out of sight, such as a drawer or cupboard for a while,, to allow your mind to wander and reset.
Take time to be in nature (everyday if you can). Studies show that spending time in nature has numerous positive benefits for the mind and body, such as allowing your active mind to rest, improving mood and attention, and providing a general sense of wellbeing. Take more opportunities for unstructured walks or to sit outside – even if just for 5-10 minutes per day. For more on this, refer to my article Nature and Your Brain: Prioritize Getting your Family Outdoors.
Pause before adding additional items to your calendar. You receive an invite for an afterwork dinner event or a promotional email for a sale on tennis lessons. You realize if your children attend eight weeks of camp, rather than six, the cost per week is less. You are asked to host a family reunion over a long weekend that you had hoped to spend quietly at home. Each of these considerations matter and have value, and you do not need to necessarily decline. That said, you will do yourself a favor if you pause before making a decision. Give yourself a chance to think about whether you can comfortably fit more into your schedule. A general rule is to wait 24 hours before agreeing to add something to your calendar.
Prioritize activities that are must-dos. Write a list of all the activities and commitments you want to engage in during the summer months. List everything. For example, your list may include hosting dinner for the neighbors, pickleball lessons, baseball camp for your child, organizing your book collection, or donating old clothing. When finished, review the list and put a star beside three must-do items. These three activities are your priority. Then, review the list again and circle three really-want-to items. These will be your next priority. Any items that have not been starred or circled are bonus items, and the expectation to complete them should be removed. If you end up participating in any of these items, consider completion of these tasks to be icing on the cake.
Say no. The practice of saying no can be a hard one for many of us. However, once you have made your list of priorities and are in the practice of pausing before adding additional items to your calendar, try saying no to activities that are not on your list. It can help to have a script for yourself. For instance, respond with, “Thank you for the invitation to join you for the 5K. I am going to have to say no this time.” Or try, “Thank you for thinking of me for the fundraising picnic. I have been prioritizing downtime recently, so I will need to miss this one!” Giving yourself permission to say no, and following through with it, will allow you to gain free time.
Allow yourself to get bored this summer! Your future you will thank you for it!
1.Covey, Stephen R. (1989). The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change. FranklinCovey.
2. Id.
Janine Weisenback, LMSW, is a clinical therapist at Soffer & Associates. She is a licensed master level social worker and therapist who has experience working with individuals and families in a variety of settings. She earned her Bachelor of Arts degree at the University of Toronto and Master of Social Work degree at New York University’s Silver School of Social Work. She also has a law degree from Fordham University School of Law.
