By Jennifer Borenius, Co-Host of the Girls Gone Gritty Podcast; Executive Director of WEforum
When you’re forced to pick a side, what happens when you find yourself agreeing with both or with neither? What happens when you realize there are always at least two sides to a story, and that the truth usually lives somewhere in the messy, uncomfortable middle? And what happens when you realize that “truth” may never be fully known?
What happens when people you love can no longer sit in the same room together? What happens when families are fragmented by politics, and it breaks your heart to the core of your being because you know that if they would just come to the table, they would agree more than they disagree? Or maybe, more importantly, gain a deeper understanding of one another?
If this resonates with you, you are likely deeply empathetic and painfully aware of the divide that exists not only in the United States but across the globe. A divide that isn’t confined to politics alone, it often lives right inside our own homes, under a shared roof.
Some will say this is simply politics as usual. But maybe the better question is: What has changed?
Since the inception of our political system, there have largely been two dominant parties: Democrats and Republicans. Yet today, it feels less like differing perspectives and more like Democrats versus Republicans, Republicans versus Democrats, two warring factions within what is still, in many ways, a young democracy.
This year, the United States, viewed by many around the world as a beacon of hope for a true democracy, a government of the people and for the people, celebrates its 250th birthday. And few would argue that we are not being tested.
Our nation’s celebration should invite reflection. But for many, reflection quickly turns into blame. We search for reasons and for culprits. We blame current or former presidents. We blame the corrupt nature of politics itself. We blame special interests, super PACs, dark money, and lobbyists. We blame voter apathy. We blame misinformation, fake news, AI-generated content, social media, and influencers.
And honestly? On some level, most of us would agree that all of these play a role.
But when our instinct is to point outward, to find someone else responsible for what’s broken, we expose a critical flaw in our thinking: blame alone fixes nothing. It heals no wounds. It changes no outcomes. And perhaps the hardest truth to face is that we, too, carry responsibility.
So how do we, as a civilized and educated society, find our way back to honest, open conversation? And should we even try?
We’ve all heard the rule: “No religion or politics at the table.” But maybe it’s time to question that wisdom. If not, when are we sitting together, sharing a meal, looking one another in the eye? Then when can we? When will the right time ever come to have difficult conversations? And are we willing to accept that the warring of sides may get worse before it gets better?
Our country’s history is not perfect. Like every modern society, we have allowed ideological differences to escalate, leading, at various times, to civil unrest, peaceful protests, violent riots, and even civil war. And yet, when we look at history through the lens of our children’s faces, we are reminded of something essential: every life is sacred. Every idea carries meaning. Every belief deserves dignity.
If there is a way forward, it begins not with certainty, but with humility. Not with shouting, but with listening. And not with choosing sides, but with choosing one another.
This February, as we continue to work on the resolutions from the past month, we should be reminded to seek out someone we disagree with to challenge and expand our views, or to have the difficult conversation we have been putting off. Working through the challenges of our messy modern society requires intentional connection as we rebuild the trust and respect that have been eroded.
