By Ariella Soffer, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist, CEO and Founder of Soffer & Associates
Recently, I had the privilege of speaking to a group of elite high school athletes about one of the most powerful tools they can carry with them: a growth mindset. As both a clinical and sport psychologist, I see every day how mindset shapes not only athletic performance, but also resilience, well-being, and success far beyond the playing field.
During the talk, I emphasized that while talent and natural ability certainly matter, it is mindset that ultimately determines how athletes face challenges, respond to setbacks, and commit to growth. Perhaps most importantly, the habits of persistence and adaptability built in sport carry over into school, relationships, and eventually careers. Growth mindset is not just about developing great athletes — it is about developing resilient, motivated young people, prepared for whatever comes their way.
Parents and the Growth Mindset
For parents, one of the most meaningful ways to nurture a growth mindset is through everyday language. The difference between saying, “You’re so talented” and “I’m proud of how hard you worked in practice today,” may seem subtle, but it is enormous. Praising effort instead of results tells young athletes that persistence, practice, and strategy are what matter most.
This approach also normalizes mistakes as part of the learning process. When parents ask, “What did you learn from that game?” instead of focusing only on outcomes, they teach children that setbacks are not failures to be ashamed of, but opportunities to grow. Over time, these conversations help athletes bounce back more quickly from challenges and build resilience that extends far beyond the field.
Coaches, Stress, and the Mindset Climate
Coaches, too, play a vital role in shaping athletes’ mindsets. Talent alone is never enough; what drives true success is how athletes approach obstacles, handle adversity, and commit to continual improvement. When coaches emphasize effort, persistence, and learning, they create team cultures that foster resilience. When the focus is only on winning, athletes often develop a fear of failure that undermines growth.
Mindset also changes the way athletes respond to stress. In a fixed mindset, stress feels like a threat, something to be avoided. In a growth mindset, stress is reframed as a challenge and an opportunity. Preseason, for example, can be an intense stress test—new teams, new routines, and new demands. The goal is not to remove that stress but to help athletes find their “sweet spot” on the stress curve: enough pressure to spark motivation and focus, but not so much that it becomes overwhelming.
Warning signs of excess stress can be emotional (tearfulness, sadness), physical (fatigue, nausea), cognitive (rumination, obsessive thoughts), or behavioral (withdrawal, missed responsibilities). When stress grows persistent and impairing, athletes need support—whether that’s rest, adjustments in expectations, or professional care. A growth mindset doesn’t deny stress; it teaches athletes how to meet it with resilience.
Stories Beyond Wins and Losses
The stories of legendary athletes make this truth come alive. Michael Jordan was famously cut from his high school varsity basketball team. Instead of walking away, he used that failure as fuel, later saying: “I’ve failed over and over and over again… and that is why I succeed.”
Similarly, Serena Williams described her early losses as “wake-up calls,” treating each setback as an invitation to adapt and grow. Her decades of dominance on the court reflect not only talent, but a mindset grounded in persistence and learning through challenge.
Research echoes these stories. In youth sports, athletes flourish in growth-oriented environments, reporting more enjoyment and motivation. In college athletics, supportive team climates predict lower levels of anxiety, while controlling climates drive stress higher—critical findings in a time when more than 70% of college athletes report clinical levels of anxiety. Growth-oriented climates also foster team cohesion, effort, and satisfaction, sustaining performance over the long term.
And the benefits do not end with sport. Former high school athletes often report higher leadership, career success, and life satisfaction in adulthood. Professional athletes with growth mindsets maintain performance through injuries and adversity. The same skills—resilience, adaptability, teamwork—transfer directly into college, careers, and life.
The Bullseye Exercise: A Tool for Building Growth Mindset
One practical way to strengthen a growth mindset is through the Bullseye exercise, a values-based tool developed in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and taught through the University of Pennsylvania’s Positive Psychology Center (Dahl & Lundgren, 2006). The Bullseye helps athletes clarify what matters most and align their daily behaviors with their core values.
The exercise is simple but powerful. Imagine a target with concentric circles, divided into quadrants labeled with life areas such as Self-care, Family, School/Work, and Friends/Community. In each quadrant, athletes first define their guiding values—qualities like discipline, integrity, connection, or growth. They then place an “X” to mark how closely their current actions align with those values: the closer to the center, the stronger the alignment. Finally, they reflect on what small steps could bring them closer to the bullseye.
For athletes, this exercise anchors mindset in identity rather than outcome. It connects sport to a larger sense of purpose and makes resilience tangible: setbacks become opportunities to live values more fully. The Bullseye reminds athletes that growth is not only about skills or results, but about showing up in a way that reflects who they want to be, on and off the field.
Final Takeaway
Growth mindset in youth sports is never just about wins and losses. It is about cultivating resilience, persistence, and a lifelong belief in the possibility of growth. Parents, coaches, and athletes each have a role to play in building environments where mistakes are learning opportunities, stress is reframed as a challenge, and values guide action.
By embracing a growth mindset and using tools like the Bullseye exercise, athletes learn to approach challenges with clarity and purpose. These lessons extend far beyond the game, shaping young people into leaders, learners, and resilient individuals prepared for whatever future arenas they step into.
References
Pulido et al., 2018; Appleby & Davis, 2022; Ruiz et al., 2017; Balaguer et al., 2002; Isoard-Gautheur et al., 2016; Yeager et al., 2022; Kniffin et al., 2015; Gucciardi, 2017.
Ariella Soffer, Ph.D., is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and CEO/Founder of Soffer & Associates, a group practice in Manhattan located at 240 Central Park South, 5P, and in New Jersey located at 783 River Road, Fair Haven, NJ. Dr. Soffer’s practice specializes in parenting consultation, sports psychology, perinatal mental health, and general mental health concerns. Dr. Soffer is also on the Clinical Faculty at Rutgers University Graduate School of Professional Psychology.
Photo Credit :Ridofranz
