By Ariella Soffer, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist, CEO and Founder of Soffer & Associates
On December 6, 2024, the Hudson Catholic High School football community experienced an unimaginable tragedy. A car accident claimed the lives of multiple individuals, including head football coach Lamar McKnight and assistant coach Brad Cunningham. The sudden loss of these two leaders, who were more than just strategists but also mentors and father figures to their players, has left the team and community grappling with profound grief.
While Hudson Catholic navigates the complexities of implementing healing and recovering strategies for their students and community, the tragedy underscores the critical importance of having best practices in place to guide athletic programs through such crises. Drawing on lessons from similar incidents in the sports world, communities must learn to move forward, while honoring those who are no longer with them.
Grieving Together: Best Practices in the Face of Loss
When tragedy strikes a community, teams are often at the heart of both mourning and healing. The collective experience of grief can strengthen bonds when approached with intention and care.
Acknowledging the Loss
Public acknowledgment of a tragedy is the first step toward healing. By addressing the loss with transparency and empathy, schools and organizations can validate the grief of their players, families, and community members. Memorial services, team gatherings, and symbolic acts of remembrance help bring people together in a spirit of support.
Creating a Supportive Environment
The emotional toll on athletes and coaches is significant. Mental health professionals, counselors, and grief specialists play a crucial role in helping individuals process their emotions while navigating the path forward. Schools can create open forums, offer counseling sessions, and hold team meetings focused on shared healing.
Learning from Similar Experiences
Many athletic teams and organizations have faced similar tragedies in past decades, and their responses offer valuable insight into how to move forward.
- Marshall University Football Team: In 1970, a plane crash killed most of Marshall University’s football team. The tragedy brought the university and its surrounding community together as they worked to rebuild the program. Every game that followed that fateful day became a tribute to those who were lost.
- Humboldt Broncos Junior Hockey Team: Following a tragic bus accident in 2018, this Canadian team’s focus shifted from winning to honoring its fallen players, while providing survivors with emotional and community support. Vigils, fundraisers, and memorial games were essential to their healing journey.
- Stanford University Women’s Soccer Team: After the death of goalkeeper Katie Meyer in 2022, the Stanford community responded by increasing access to mental health resources, normalizing conversations about athlete mental health, and creating platforms for student-athletes to share their experiences.
Moving Forward: A Framework for Teams After Tragedy
Healing as a Team
Teams often find that shared grief strengthens relationships. By leaning on each other, athletes and coaches can work through their emotions together using structured support.
- Dedicated Counseling and Mental Health Services: Offering on-site counselors and therapists ensures immediate support.
- Team Reflection Periods: Allowing players and staff to share their thoughts and memories fosters connection.
Honoring Legacies
Playing the game is not just a return to normalcy—it is an act of remembrance. By dedicating practices, games, or seasons to the memory of those lost, teams keep their legacies alive.
- Season Dedications: Wearing memorial patches, engaging in pregame tributes, or establishing scholarship funds in honor of those lost are powerful gestures.
- Redefining Success: In the wake of loss, the emphasis often shifts from winning to personal and collective growth, helping athletes channel their grief into resilience.
Leadership Transition
Losing pivotal figures on a team can leave a leadership void. Filling this gap is vital for restoring stability.
- Empowering Senior Players: Captains and seasoned athletes can step into mentorship roles, fostering a culture of unity and perseverance.
- Supporting New Leaders: New coaches or staff must be equipped with resources and support to guide the team through this challenging period.
Building a Culture of Resilience
The most enduring legacy of those lost often comes through the resilience they inspire in others. Schools and teams can use these moments as an opportunity to cultivate emotional intelligence, prioritize mental health, and instill values that extend far beyond the field.
Fostering Open Communication
Creating spaces where athletes feel comfortable expressing themselves is essential for long-term healing.
- Team Meetings: Regular gatherings focused on emotional check-ins and collective problem-solving can strengthen trust and connection.
- Coach Vulnerability: When leaders model openness about their own emotions, it sets a powerful example for players.
Balancing Grief with Gratitude
Even in the face of heartbreak, recognizing the support of teammates, the strength of the community, and the memories of those lost can help players find perspective. Teams might incorporate exercises to help in the healing process.
- Gratitude Exercises: Encouraging athletes to reflect on small wins and shared successes builds positivity.
- Shared Goals: Defining goals that align with the values of those lost gives teams a renewed sense of purpose.
A Shared Journey Toward Healing
The tragedy that struck Hudson Catholic High School is a sobering reminder of life’s fragility and the irreplaceable value of those lost. While the road ahead will be long and challenging, drawing from the experiences of other teams and their communities demonstrates that healing is possible. By leaning on each other, fostering a culture of openness, and honoring the legacy of Coaches McKnight and Cunningham, the Hudson Catholic community can work to turn grief into strength.
As the team, school, and broader community move forward, they do so as a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. By focusing on unity, purpose, and the values instilled by those who are gone, they honor their memory in the most meaningful way.
References:
- Marshall University Football Plane Crash (1970): “Marshall Plane Crash Remembered: 50 Years Later,” ESPN. Available at:https://www.espn.com.
- Humboldt Broncos Bus Crash (2018): “Canada’s Humboldt Broncos: Healing After the Crash,” CBC News. Available at:https://www.cbc.ca.
- Stanford University’s Katie Meyer (2022): “Stanford Soccer’s Katie Meyer: A Community Responds to Tragedy,” The New York Times. Available at: https://www.nytimes.com.
- University of Wisconsin’s Sarah Shulze (2022): “Mental Health Resources Increased After Athlete’s Death,” Wisconsin Athletics. Available at:https://www.uwbadgers.com.
- Lessons in Team Resilience Post-Tragedy: “Recovering Teams: How Sports Rebuild After Loss,” The Players’ Tribune. Available at:https://www.theplayerstribune.com.
Ariella Soffer, Ph.D., is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist and CEO/Founder of Soffer & Associates, a group practice in Manhattan located at 240 Central Park South, 5P, NY, NY and in New Jersey located at 783 River Rd. Fair Haven, NJ. Dr. Soffer’s practice specializes in parenting consultation, sports psychology, perinatal mental health and general mental health concerns. Dr. Soffer is also on the Clinical Faculty at Rutgers University Graduate School of Professional Psychology.
Photo Credit:8213erika
